What Feels Good to you Right Now?

"Good Witch"

I am having issues with my Wix website. It won't let me write (it's very slow on my Blog). So I decided to come to this blog instead. I have not been here in a while but I think it is important to share here too because I have a different audience here than I do on my healing hands website. I want to reach out to as many people as I can. In the meantime, I will try to get my computer up to speed. :) In the last blog, I wrote about a spell that I was planning on doing on the full moon (tonight). I will do it around 12-1 am (so actually tomorrow). :) It is Sept 16th, 2016 tonight. Tonight will be the harvest moon lunar eclipse and it is a perfect time for releasing anything that no longer serves you. I decided that I needed to release anger. So here is the link to a website with the spell that I will perform (info is copied and pasted).

***http://www.everythingunderthemoon.net/spells/release-anger-spell.htm***

* Most forms of abuse result in powerful feelings of anger or rage, which must be expressed in a safe, positive fashion if it is not to either destroy you or others. I'd like to present an alternate method of dealing with the anger through a ritual--allowing you to purge the energy safely and then let it go.

For this ritual, you will need some quiet time, a red candle, a black or a white candle, paper and writing implements, a container in which to burn paper, and matches. Any other symbols, magickal gear, or accoutrements you wish to bring to the ritual are yours to choose; I'm just presenting the bare bones.

Once you have gathered your stuff and set up your quiet space, you will want to call in a circle to protect yourself, and to protect others from the energies you plan to release.

Face the east, and call upon the air to help you express your rage clearly, to help you focus mentally while you release your emotions safely within the circle.

Face the south, and call upon fire to help your rage burn up and out of you, burning away the past and the trauma that has enraged you.

Face the west, and call upon the water to help your emotions flow freely within the circle, cleansing your spirit and restoring yourself.

Face the north, and call upon the earth to allow you to safely ground your rage, and to sustain and support your through the releasing process. As you call in the directions, visualize a circle of white light forming around your working space, shielding you and protecting you with the elements you've called in.

(I have sometimes found that it also helps to call upon the archangels to further strengthen the circle--Raphael for east, Michael for south, Gabriel for west, and Uriel for north--if your beliefs trend that way.)

Then when you feel the circle is secure, call upon the Higher Powers in whatever form you relate to them to work with you and shield you through the course of the ritual.

Now, light the red candle. By its light, begin to write or draw what it is that is enraging you, whether it be some form of emotional abuse that trashed your worth as a person, sexual abuse that made you into an object, physical abuse that broke your body's connection with your mind, or whatever. Focus on making the issues clear to yourself and the Higher Powers that you've called in. Focus on how the actions made *you* feel, not on the other person's guilt or motivations, or on revenge on the other person. (You can do this part ahead of time, if you want. I wrote a long letter to my mother explaining exactly what I remembered and felt out of our abusive relationship, being careful to keep it in "I-statements" and not start blaming her. Blame may be necessary for some folks, but until you release the rage within, I feel that you cannot assess blame rationally and safely.)

Next, hold the paper between your hands, focus your awareness on the red candle, and begin to chant, shout, scream, or make whatever sounds help you to feel the rage come up and leave you. Send the rage into the red candle. Focus your rage on the red candle, watching the flames burn brighter and hotter as the force of your anger fuels them. When you feel that you've released the red rage as much as you can, light the papers on which you've drawn or written your problem and drop them into the container so they can burn out. (Do remember to put something under the container to protect the surface it rests on--we did this ritual as a group a couple of years ago and caught the carpet on fire.)

After the papers have begun to burn down, light the black or white candle. (The choice of color depends on how you wish to focus on restoring yourself--black represents the energy of transformation and white represents an energy of peace and purification.) Focus on what you'd like to replace the rage with--peace, self-esteem, happiness, or whatever. Let the energy of the new emotions fill you up. Write or draw on a new piece of paper those things that you want to find in yourself and your life now that you've released the poisonous rage that was holding you back. You could even take the ashes from the burnt paper and write the name of the emotion on a new piece of paper to help you focus. Feel the healing begin.

When you are comfortably calm again, release the energy of the circle. Visualize it sinking back into the earth as you thank the elements at each direction for watching over you. Thank the Higher Powers for their insight and help. Let the candles burn completely out.

May you find this ritual to be as healing for you as I found it to be, if anything bad happened to you in childhood or since like rape or abuse etc it is NOT your fault so do not let your abuser win. Let go of it and move on -get counseling if it will help. This ritual can also help those locked in feelings. You might want to add some of your own words..*

The only thing that I plan on changing is to use a white candle, rather than a black candle. I have an off white, cream colored white candle that I feel is perfect to bring peace and purification into my life, heart, mind and soul. I have small red tea light candles that I will use as well. I will be using a glass jar to burn the paper in and the spell will be performed in my back yard. I might have a few people interrupt me because I live 3 other people and a cat. So my privacy is limited but I will work with what I have. When I open and close a circle, I like to call on the Archangels and thank them for their protection and help. Archangel Michael is my fav to call on because he defends, protects, shields and is a warrior, fighting off anything that could possibly harm me or others. Whenever I do a spell/prayer, I do it out of love and not fear. My intention is to harm none. I do not curse people or try to control them through magick. When you do that to others, it comes back to you three fold. Treat others as you would like to be treated (the golden rule).
For those of you that are Christian, I understand that witchcraft is forbidden but for me personally, I don't feel that I am doing anything wrong or harming anyone or anything. Each spell that I do is infused with love, compassion and empathy. I still believe in God and am still a Christian but I am rearranging my beliefs, getting rid of the old beliefs that no longer serve me and adding new beliefs and practices (like divination, the craft, ritual, calling on the earth's energies, etc). So you can see the spell I am performing this evening (above these two paragraphs), you can see that it involves nothing Satanic, which is what many people think The Craft is. Black magick is Satanic but not ALL magick is wicked and dark. Some of it is very beautiful and powerful.
I would like to encourage all of you (if you would like to) try some good magick that will help you and maybe even others. Just as long as you harm no one, you are good and safe from negative karma. A spell is actually a prayer (it's just done a little differently). In my opinion, you can do magick with just your mind and intention. If you have a clear and precise intention and desire, you can manifest it with amazing power. When I first began working with magick and the elements, I would go to a private spot at my fav river, draw on the power of the river (water element of deep emotions) and sometimes smudge and light a candle to focus my intention. My intention was for a woman that I was deeply in love with, to open her heart and love me as she desired but I made it clear that everything was to happen on her own free will and her own choices. Since she desired me, the power and chemistry was already there between us and the magick was mind blowingly powerful. I know she felt it and so did I. Unfortunately, this relationship ended badly and I snapped on her because I was so hurt that she slammed the door shut on me out of fear. You see, she was my therapist. Yes, people often fall in love with their therapists. It is common but the funny thing is that I knew she desired me because of the way she looked at me. If you know what sexual attraction and chemistry is then you know how it feels when someone desires you and looks at you like THAT. Lol :) She was afraid and severed the relationship. I don't blame her because as a therapist, she could have lost her license if anything happened, like sex for instance. I thank God that it never went that far because then my heart would have REALLY broken.
Even though there was pain in this experience, it was also very beautiful and pleasurable. It was so exciting to meet with her and I felt like we really had a deep connection. I cared for her and she cared for me but I don't think she was in love; it was most likely lust. I think the two can be confused and maybe she was confused? Regardless folks, don;t be afraid to try new things (magick). It is very powerful and very effective. I had some of the most mind blowing experiences ever! Have you ever tried astral sex? I have and it was the most amazing sex that I have EVER had. It's very real! So is telepathic communication. Combine the two and it's amazing, with high intensity of emotions. Masturbation and visualization of the person you love can create powerful magick that the other person will sense. They will know something is up but most likely will not be able to pin point WHY this person arouses them so much! Lol :D
So.... back to my spell. Like I said, I will be doing it from 12-1 am. I also forgot to mention that I will be making a circle of protection out of sea salt and will be smudging before and after the ritual. I will also be incorporating paprika, which enhances any spell that you do. I have this gut feeling/intuitive feeling that I should blow the paprika powder out of my hand before I burn the paper with my intention on it. My intention is to fully let go and release any anger that I have towards Joanne (my x therapist). Now let me make it clear that the relationship was therapeutic and never romantic. I am not delusional and do not believe that we actually had a relationship or that she even loved me but I certainly loved her very deeply. I want to release her for good and never look back again. I encourage you to try this spell and release that deep seated anger that no longer serves you. Feel free to add to the spell, or omit certain things. Do your own thing. The Wiccan rede is "an harm none, do what ye wilt." So you can basically do whatever you want, just as long as you harm no one, including yourself. Harm absolutely nothing and be sure your spell/prayer comes from love, compassion and empathy. The second any negative feeling creeps in you take the risk of having it pollute your spell and indirectly send out a curse to the other person and to yourself (which I did by accident). This happened with Joanne and backfired in ways that I was not prepared for. My energy was being sent out into the universe and I wanted her so badly but she was sending fear out into the universe and was too afraid to love me (which I understand). I don't think she really wanted to love, so my energy accidentally pissed her off and made her abruptly cut me off. So be careful if you are doing spells that involve others. Sometimes they can backfire when you never meant to harm the other person.
I am signing off now. I will be doing my blog talk radio show on Mon night. To follow me, look me up on Facebook at Promise Life Coaching. :)

Still Here :)

Hello everyone! I am still here! I took a break from social media and the internet while I moved and settled in at home. I also wanted to take some time to figure out what my next step would be. God does work in mysterious ways. I thought that my main focus was to be a life coach but it turns out that doing what I call, "energetic cleansing" is where my real gift is. It is a great deal like Reiki but it's not exactly Reiki. I go off of intuition and simply place my hands on the client to pray that they will heal. Yes, I focus on healing the body but my approach is holistic, so I tie in the healing of mind, body and soul. I plan on recording a web cam video of what I do. I am sure my client will agree to it. I can not give out his name here, due to privacy issues but I can tell you a little bit about this man. He was recently in a really bad car wreck which left him paralyzed from the waist down. He can use his arms and hands, can talk, is alert and "with it." He is himself still and has a sense of humor but he is also a brand new person, who is surprisingly warm, grateful, compassionate and tender hearted. He used to be a handful, with a loud mouth. I could not stand him about 5 yrs ago. You see, technically he is a friend that I have not seen in years but I am doing healing work on him and have been doing so for over a week now. It seems to help him and he can feel the healing energy flow through him.

I have been wanting to do this kind of work and I finally just went with it. It FEELS right..... It just feels so right and natural to me to do this kind of work. I have had many dreams (at night) about manipulating energy and the elements, like Harry Potter or something. :) Honestly... Like a witch..... Sometimes I am good and sometimes I am evil in these dreams. Now that my yin and yang are balanced, I feel that I can do this kind of healing work on others. This does not mean that I am no longer a life coach. I still offer life coaching sessions but now my main focus is on being an energetic healer. The shift is a bit confusing to me so I am sure it is for you as well. I am sorry for that but please hang in there with me because it is worth it. I am confident that I have some awesome healing to send your way! :) For the life coaching bit, I decided to shorten it and call the business "Promise Life Coaching" rather than "Promise Christian Life Coaching by Chrystyana." The logo looks better this way and it tells people that this is life coaching for everyone and not JUST Christians.

I remember my aunt telling me that I change my mind a lot but yah know.... As women, I think we CAN do just that. Life is a journey and things often change, we discover new things about ourselves and about life, etc.... It is amazing! Changes make life an enriching experience, don't you think? :) As I am writing this and sharing my journal with you openly, I wonder if this is having the impact that I want? I put this stuff out there to help you work through your own issues as I work through mine. I want you to get to know me and I would also like to get to know you. By writing this blog and most of the other ones I have written, my goal is to show you that there is beauty in imperfection, you CAN do what you love to do for a living, soul searching pays off and steers you in the right direction, AUTHENTICITY will get you what you want in life and.... It is OK to be both a sinner and a saint! So yeah, it's a hodge podge of various things but the essential message here is to be yourself and to look at life with a brighter and more optimistic perspective. This is what I do! I am a positive perspective life coach and an energetic healer.

I recently had a mentor help me to get very specific on what it is that I offer and I find that I am narrowing it down. I had the opportunity to be a part of an online coaching network and declined on the offer because I do not want to be tied into a contract. It didn't feel right in my gut so I had to let it go and simply focus on my energetic healing work. I have one client as of right now and I think he will be a client for a while. My goal is to earn cash doing this work! It all begins with a dream folks! A dream and persistence! I have learned that you have to put yourself out there even before you are ready to do so. It gets the ball rolling and make things happen. I have tripped and fell and messed up countless times as I try to get my business known and out there. All I can do is be authentically me. Some people will love it and others will not. I just keep hanging in there! Folks, I will get back to you all again when I have time. May God bless you and take care! :)

I have made the decision that I am going to do my very best to be as healthy as I can be; mind, body and soul. It is not always easy for me and I do struggle almost every day to be the person that I want to be. Mental illness, severe insomnia and sleep apnea make life much more difficult that most people realize. You really have to experience it to fully understand it all. I believe that I am a very real, authentic and genuine person. I am also very honest and don't like to lie. I strive to make compassion, love and empathy an everyday practice. I don't want to just practice it.... I want to BE those things and make them permanent, embedded characteristics within my soul. I recognize the beauty within my soul and all of the wonderful things about who I am and my character. Many people have said many hurtful things about me, including mental health "professionals" who swear they know me but they really don't. Like my friend once told me, "what other people think of you is none of your business." I agree with her, don't you? :)
I have been struggling to find a healthy balance within myself and also my life coaching business. Well, with everything actually. For several years I felt that I was getting back on track, even though I had some hard times along the way. I felt that my meds were effective and that I was managing my mental health pretty well. Then, the love of my life broke my heart and could not love me as I loved her. Then, my son passed away...... So my meds no longer worked and even with strong medication, I struggle to get solid sleep and have a hard time wearing my c pap for my sleep apnea. Perhaps sharing so openly and blunty will harm my chances in bringing in some life coaching clients? I think it has but I refuse to conform to all of the rules just to make some money and I HAVE to be authentically me. I believe this is how God made me.
So folks.... I am going to REALLY PUSH myself to be the best me possible and.... I'm going to break some rules too and not conform to the rules and restraints that society and religion has placed on me. For the rest of this year, I plan on experiencing things spiritually that fall outside of the realm of traditional, old school Christianity. I waver a lot, which is something that I would like to erase from my own character. One minute I am an old school, by the book (Holy Bible) Christian and the next minute, I am a New Ager, interested in the occult, Wicca and the love of nature and it's elements. I feel a very strong connection to the moon and water. I am also very drawn to fire.... I miss my walks and bike rides to the snake river, sitting by the river and soaking up the sunlight AND the moonlight. One night, I made love to my son's father right by the river, under the moonlight and it was an incredibly magic and powerful experience. The moon seems to charge my batteries and makes me feel very alive and sensual. It's a wonderful feeling!
What do you relish from mother earth? I love the connection with her, which is why I am so drawn to Wicca and Shamanism. Will I go to hell for practicing and believing in these things? The Holy Bible tells me yes, I will but I can't seem to fully conform to the Christian lifestyle. One of the issues is that I have to deny myself of any kind of sexual experience until I am married, which is unrealistic, in my opinion. I am a highly sexual, passionate and sensual woman. Is this bad? I don't think so.... Is it wrong to have Christian, Shamanic and Wiccan beliefs? I don't think so...... As long as I continue to practice love, empathy and compassion, then I am ok. I refuse to practice any kind of dark magic, or anything dark because I don't want to be that person.
Look, I am jumping all over the place AGAIN, lol :) I want to take a writing class to get better at blogging! I am trying to relate to you all and I realize that I need to work on this. I will get back to you all soon!
Love,
Your Life Coach
Chrystyana :)

#RandomArt

My new camera has inspired me to capture #RandomArt, as I go through each day. It's also a beautiful part of the shamanic path; seeing the beauty all around, every day. What random artsy stuff have you seen lately? What did it inspire in your heart? My answer below.
***“Phenomenon,” an outdoor sculpture, and “The Book-loving Dragon,” a suspended piece in the children’s area of Maple Grove Library, were funded by the One Percent for Art initiative and celebrated June 2.(Copied and pasted from website)***
*Pic taken at the Maple Grove, MN library
* http://maplegrovemag.com/article/art/maple-groves-new-library-sculpture

When I looked at this sculpture, it made me think of the wind. To me, it feels like a violent storm in my own heart and soul. The stick like figures represent my emotions (often turbulent) and messy..... Yet, notice how beautiful and captivating this sculpture is? It's messy, beautiful and confined all at the same time. It's messy and neat at the same time.... Violent and controlled at the same time. I say, this represents my emotions very well. I love art! I love it that I see art everywhere! It's all in the eye of the beholder, right? Yah know, sometimes I forget to mention God here and I need to do this more often cuz that is the purpose of what I do as a life coach (to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ). I think that our Lord gave us art, don't you? He also created the earth and all of it's beautiful creatures. :) This keeps me going, even in times of grief and sorrow, art and the beauty in this world keeps me going.
I have been having a hard time since my son passed away and it really has not been long since he passed. Sometimes it feels like he passed away just yesterday. I miss him so very much. My son Taylor was and IS the apple of my eye and I love my angel dearly. I often ask myself how I can use my own experiences to help you, clients and blog readers. How can I help others and not get too self involved while I share my experiences and encouragement with all of you? My goal is to build you up in the Lord's word. I figured that my own personal experiences could help you to resolve some of your own issues and I know that many of you can relate to my experiences in life. I am always open to constructive criticism, so feel free to post comments under my blog posts and tell me what you are interested in reading and discussing?
I have been saying for a while now that I have been planning on beginning my own podcast and recording more Vlog videos, plus continuing on this blog. Those are my goals and well... Let's just say... I have been going through a creative dry spell. Mind you, I am in the field of healing ARTS, so there is an artistic and creative component to what I share with all of you. Lately, I have been doubting my own abilities to be a life coach and to help others through this profession but is it a profession/career or just a hobby? Since I make no money, it is feeling like more of a hobby but I enjoy sharing with all of you and like the idea of helping others work through whatever spiritual blocks they may be facing. God has helped me through a tremendous amount of trauma, grief and sorrow, so I feel obligated to give back to others. It feels like it's my duty and yes... I enjoy this too. :)
Wow.... So I go off on tangents quite often, lol! :) As you can see! :D The main focus of this blog post is art! It's all about encouraging you to see beauty in your everyday life, to enjoy it thoroughly and...... to allow it to sink in. Really think about it (something beautiful or artistic) and FEEL what it means to you. Allow yourself to be MOVED by beauty, to feel deeply and to fully ENJOY it! I always say that God is a magnificent artist! Just go out in nature and admire the beauty that He has given us and it's all FREE! Praise God! :D
So that was my life coachy schpiel, lol! :) I hope it has boosted up your spirit, cuz it has boosted mine up! I love all of you and wish you all well! Blessings!
Love,
Chrystyana :)

Just Checking In! :)

Hello! :)

Keep Going and DO NOT Give Up!

 

Just some words of encouragement folks! Never give up on your dreams! Keep going and DO NOT give up! Sometimes it gets hard (life does) and things do not always go the way we want it to go but the effort is worth it! Your passion is worth the perseverance because it's what you love to do!

To Coach Or Not To Coach?

I have been thinking a great deal lately and I suppose that's nothing new.... but it's more about securing a better future/life for myself and my potential family (meaning children). I often kick myself, asking why I don't have anything to show for all of the hard work in my life. I have fallen into the trap of measuring my own success by the standards of the world we live in. I criticize myself, asking myself why I can't be better? Why can't I get clients? Am I too honest in my work and online? Am I driving people away? The list of insecurities goes on and on and on..... I keep coming back to the conclusion that I should not be in this line of work (life coaching) to make a living. True, some people just have that gift, whatever it is I don't know but they just have that extra something in their personality that makes them super successful in the life coaching arena.
For me personally, my transparency can actually scare people off, lol! :) I am constantly trying to do a balancing act so I don't do that to people because that is not the energy that I want to send out into the world! Yet I come back to the conclusion that I can not pretend to be something that I am not! I have to be genuine and REAL because this is simply who I am. I also have to accept that I am not the right fit for everyone! There are many coaches out there right now and we all have our own unique personalities.
So I ask  myself, is this something I want to continue to invest in when I have no clients and am making $0.00? That's right.... I don't make a single cent doing this but I think my heart is in the right place. It can be frustrating because life is expensive and I am tired of being broke but.... it's ok because I LIKE this line of work. I write my blog and do my best to keep up with all of my social media and other sites to share with all of you and possibly help someone along the way. I am accepting that life coaching will NOT be my main source of income and that I will have to choose another career path to make a living. I am not giving up on my coaching business but I have to be realistic. The hard part is feeling that I have failed and people do the, "I told you so" thing, which is hard to take. Still... I am trying to make some kind of a difference in this world and I want it to be a GOOD thing. I want to do something good for people and this world we live in.
I think of people who strived for many years to reach their goals and to see their dreams fulfilled. The ones who actually make it don't give up, even when things seem hopeless and the strong ones know when it is time to move on and pursue something else. Thankfully I have not reached that point and I hope I don't but if I do, I will allow change to unfold with God's grace.
The Lord grants us grace when we ask for it. I am grateful for that. After all, where we would we all be without the Lord's grace? I have been praying to God about my life and asking Him what He wants. I feel that God is nudging me to keep going with this business but to find a reliable and stable source of income. One thought was possibly getting training to be a pharmacy technician because there are jobs available and people need their medications! Lol.
Anyways, I suppose my point is to keep reaching for that goal; for your dream. Work at it for as long as it feels good. If you need to give up on that dream and strive for something else, then do that and don't beat yourself up for failing. It's a part of life and life always goes on! Life never stops because we fail or because something bad happens. Sometimes I wonder why the world keeps going when terrible things happen but it does! It doesn't stop to pat us on the back. Nope! We just have to keep pushing on! :) Thankfully God is there for us to lean on in our time of need. God gives us refuge and a place of rest, peace and comfort in a cruel world.
New Living Translation: 2 Corinthians 1:4
He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.
I figure that I can do just what this bible verse says. As God comforts us, I would like to comfort you. I know this world can be a hard place to live in but life itself is worth living when you have God at your side. I will continue to be here to build you up and share the gospel with you. Take care friends. Keep dreaming and striving and keep the faith in our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. With God all things are possible.
Love,
Chrystyana

Nature Brings Joy and Healing...

 

The original picture said that, "Nature brings joy and healing..." Yes, those are my own words and I took the picture of my own hand, lol! :) I am trying out some new things for my business, like new ways of marketing and new ways to share with my audience and possible clients. Plus, I love taking pictures, so it gives me a chance to get creative with a basic snap shot of whatever (in this case my hand). :) When I took this picture, I was at the Snake River dam and I was charging my Black Onyx crystal. About three yrs ago I became very drawn to earth based spiritual paths. I have wavered a great deal too, sometimes even saying that this path is evil and not the Lord's way. People in my Christian community shun this sort of thing (crystal healing, spiritism, etc.). It took me a lot of going back and forth from shamanism, to Christianity and then I finally began accepting my beliefs (just recently) and merged the two walks of life together. It has been a spiritual battle within because I am still a Christian and don't want to overstep my boundaries. I do not worship the earth, or any gods, goddesses, deities, or animals, or anything else except for God (Yahweh). I have incorporated simple things like cleansing my body and home with white sage, shamanic journeying with God's Angels (loving and compassionate spirits) and the animal totems, exploring the conscious dream world and the subconscious as well, using crystals to heal, as well as herbs and other plants/roots from the earth. This is all very earth based and I pull it into my beliefs as a Christian, praying to God, in the name of Jesus Christ, believing in the Father, Son and The Holy Spirit, the Holy Bible (God's word) and prayer.

I go to church and bible study once a week and I find that it is healing to have that love and support from my brothers and sisters in Christ. Yet, I can feel very alone too because anything that pushes the envelope a bit, is shunned in the Christian community and for me personally, I do not follow what the Bible says to a T. I am more liberal and new age (modern) in my beliefs and ways of worship. This all leads me to YOU, my future clients. What I do in my life coaching practice is incorporate all of the things I have listed, that I believe in and use these experiences to help you to heal, as it has helped me to heal. My approach is very unique and tailored to each individual client that I meet with. I am very vulnerable in this line of work because this is how I can connect with you, empathize and have compassion for you. It can be scary as I expose and shine light on the most unlovable parts of my soul. I do this to let you know that it's OK to feel those dark things. It's OK to expose them and shed light on them because this is how you will truly HEAL.

Going to those dark places within yourself can be very, very scary but it is so well worth the effort! It's when I have stared my demons right in the face that I have done the most healing, like EVER! In the shamanic world, some people refer to this type of work as, "shadow work" or maybe this is just what I call it? Lol :) To me it simply means that you are shedding light on your deepest, darkest fears; those things that you keep hidden from the world but can't keep hidden from yourself. What I like about shamanism is that this shadow side of you is not seen as bad. It just is what it is. I don't know how else to say it? Shamanism is a way of life and not a religion, which gives me some freedom to explore things from a different perspective.

From my own understanding, in the shamanic world, it is a yin and yang sort of thing. It's about finding that balance and harmony within your own soul, as well as connecting to the earth, to spirit, nature, to mankind and the universe. I don't practice traditional/old school shamanism. I practice it in a unique way, which is what I am trying to explain here! Lol! :-D As you already know, I omit certain aspects of shamanism and Christianity and blend parts of the two worlds together. It's hard to try and explain it here. I suppose I have an internal compass that tells me what sits well with me and what does not. I am FINALLY beginning to accept it that I have a unique spiritual path.

I long to connect with my clients and to help them move forward in life. I believe that this is something God wants me to do. Trust me, making this dream come true has had it's up and downs and I would like to make life coaching into a business where I can make a living but I also have to get another job that will actually pay the bills!

I think that doing something you enjoy for a living is really the most rewarding way to live! In this Blog I alternate from what I would call, "an online life coaching journal" to exercises that you can implement in your life (life coaching exercises). One of these days, I would like to share a video with you on what us life coaches call, "the balance wheel." It's pretty popular and I would like to go through it step by step with you.

Ladies and gents, I want to encourage all of you to keep the faith in the Lord, even when times are tough. Don't give up on your dreams and goals just because it all seems impossible. Where there is a will, there is a way. With time an patience you will reach your goals and so will I! Here's one very simple exercise. Close your eyes and picture yourself reaching that goal that you deeply desire, then see a crowd cheering for you, congratulating you on your success and handing you a golden trophy! It really works! Visualizing achieving your goal will keep you motivated through all of the ups and downs that life throws your way. This is something I am applying to my life right now. I am envisioning the successful merging of shamanism and Christianity, bringing this into my life coaching practice, making a good living doing this and helping all of you to succeed in life. Get precise on your goals and always search for new and creative ways to get the ball rolling. In the shamanic world, creativity is also very important. It births new ideas and new life which is so refreshing. Keep singing, creating, dancing, and dreaming my friends and have faith that God will bring you to where you need to be when the timing is right! May God bless you! Till next time my friends, take care! :)

Love,

Chrystyana (Your Life Coach) :)



 

 





Forgot to Mention....

Sometimes I don't realize what I wrote! Lol :) In my last blog I mentioned someone named Joanne. I have talked about her a great deal in my dream journal/blog. I try to NOT get into that stuff too often, on my pages specifically made for my life coaching clients and possible clients. I have received some backlash by discussing her and also for just being plain old, "too open and raw." Hey.... People always have something to say right? I do care what others think and feel but not enough to keep quiet and shut me up. :) Just saying..... Lol. I try to offer people some anonymity when I blog about them but sometimes..... It's easy to figure out who I am talking about for various reasons. After all, we live in the age of social media and the internet, so things get out there in public. Oh well... I hope and pray that you can all appreciate me as I am in all of my FREAKY glory! :-D I love being a unique individual, don't you? A friend of mine, Sarah is a wonderful writer and life coach who often talks about us FREAKS with loads of love and admiration. She feels that freaks are awesome people and so do I! :) I am always inspired by her work and her words. She is very gifted and people really gravitate to her, so she is a successful life coach and writer, and also happens to be a Shaman, among many other great things. The lesson that I am brought back to time and time again, is to be authentically ME. My soul knows what it wants, so I just have to listen to it. I encourage all of you to get outdoors and just stare at a lake, a tree or something in nature. Meditate on a question and ask your soul that question. Ask God that question too and listen within yourself for the answer.
When the answer comes to you and it will, let your ego fade away and just go with that gut instinct. That first answer that comes to your mind and heart will often be the RIGHT answer that you have been looking for. This is what a life coach teaches you to do, to trust yourself and to know that the answers you seek are within you. You already know! I would like to work with you but if you would rather not, that's cool! You can heal yourself and coach yourself by doing what I just mentioned here. There is nothing complicated or complex to being your own coach. A lot of coaches make it sound complex but honestly, the more simple it is, the better. Take a walk with God and just chat for a while... You can talk to Him like a friend.... He will answer what you can not answer for yourself. Ironically, sometimes the best way to receive an answer that you have been searching for is to NOT search for it at all. Then.... BAM! Suddenly the answer pops up in an unexpected way! That's the fun part! Even if it takes years to figure something out, enjoy the ride and the journey!
Sending out love from me 2 U
Love,
Your Life Coach, Chrystyana

“Bring Me To Life”(feat. Paul McCoy) by Evanescence
How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core where I’ve become so numb
Without a soul my spirit’s sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I’ve become
Now that I know what I’m without
You can’t just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I’ve become
Bring me to life
(I’ve been living a lie, there’s nothing inside)
Bring me to life
Frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only you are the life among the dead
All this time I can’t believe I couldn’t see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul
Don’t let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I’ve become
Bring me to life
(I’ve been living a lie, there’s nothing inside)
Bring me to life
***How many of you can relate to feeling like this? Have you ever felt dead inside or numb? This is how I have been feeling and it has been going on since Joanne slammed the door shut on me. It got much worse when my son died…. It’s like I can feel the pain deep down inside but I can’t seem to release it. I can’t seem to find myself, to find my soul and the pieces of me that have fled to hide, to be safe. I have been here before and it always happens when there is some kind of loss and trauma in my life. The meds I take also numb the pain but I can feel that monster lurking under the surface. I know that many people who suffer from mental illness as I do can relate to what I am saying here. Mainly, those who suffer from severe, chronic and crippling depression. For those of you that can’t relate, well here is the explanation that I give to people to help them understand. Severe and chronic depression feels like the person that you loved the most, like ever, has just died and you are ridden with pain, sorrow, loneliness, a deep sadness, a feeling of mourning and of missing someone…. and….. a soul wrenching, deep, deep hopelessness and a feeling of complete isolation. This is depression…. People have told me, “Oh just don’t think that way.” “Oh, don’t feel that way.” “Oh just pick yourself up, get dressed and go to work. You will be fine..” “Why do you CHOOSE to be depressed? It’s a choice yah know.” The list goes on and on….
Many people who have a normal brain, understand sadness, sure… but they don’t get what depression is. After a while and I’m talking, after a year or two has passed and you are still in the pit of despair, a certain kind of depression sets in where you become almost zombie like, numb and disconnected from self, from people and just from life itself. It’s a feeling of loosing ones self in darkness. The medication makes it easier to cope, yet harder to feel the deep sorrow that one needs to feel in order to fully grieve. Taking medication is like a catch 22. Damned if you do take it because it makes you numb and damned if you don’t take it because then life becomes unbearable. When I am passionate about someone, like, when I am in love, I love with my entire soul. I feel very deeply and the feeling of love for another is a feeling of pure joy, rapture, ecstasy, and beautiful, blissful unity (becoming one with another.) I have been told many times to tone it down. I feel that I am often misunderstood and people find my energy to be too intense. My energy is misinterpreted and seen as some kind of a threat, so people back away and sometimes keep me at arms length, or cut me off for good. I am told to be more “professional” in my life coaching business and to be more neutral and even ultra positive but if I did that, I would be living a LIE and I don’t want to lie to my clients or to anyone.
I want to be as REAL as I can be and to be real is to be VULNERABLE and OPEN. I hate concealing things. If I could be an open book, then I would be but this world can be a harsh and unforgiving place, so I omit things. People think I just say whatever and that I have no filter but I have to keep many things to myself for my own safety. I love all of you but I love myself too, so I omit certain things from being displayed online publically. I just went off on a tangent. :) Lol. So I was talking about depression and trying to help you to understand what it’s like.
I believe that most people who suffer from depression are highly sensitive souls, who feel very deeply, are passionate, compassionate, and empathetic. We are very loving and forgiving by nature and it can backfire when people abuse us, use us and pulverize our hearts under their steel boots. Many people like myself have had to build up walls around our soft, mooshy, warm hearts. At times I overcompensate and become very cold, very mean, harsh, narcissistic, and vicious but I am like a wolf trying to defend itself and trying to survive. Wolves are intense and often seen as savage and vicious but that is one side of the wolf. Wolves are also very protective of their young, extremely loyal, love family and friends (their pack) and always stay connected to their packs through communication.(howling). The female Alpha of the pack (Me) loves fiercely and will keep the pack together. The Alpha keeps it all running smoothly. When something is wrong, the Alpha will fix it. I can relate to the wolf so much. This is def a part of me (the female Alpha spirit of the wolf).
So…. What I am getting to is that people like myself feel love and pain deeply. It’s because I know that I feel deeply, that is grieves my spirit to know that the real me (my soul’s essence) is buried under so much rubble and debris. I often find myself stumped to figure out how to unearth my soul, even though I have done it before many times. It must be because I die (like a phoenix) and am reborn as a new me. It’s a constant cycle of death and rebirth and each time, I have to take a new road to unearth my soul again. Sometimes when I blog, I forget that not everyone understands the language of the spirit/soul. Sometimes it is like a foreign language to some people. Many people in our modern world have lost touch with their own soul, with their higher selves. We forget that we are souls inhabiting a physical body (our vehicle) here on earth (our ordinary reality). We forget that our bodies are just vehicles and that our souls are eternal. When out bodies (our shells) die, we do not cease to exist but we continue to live on in a spiritual realm.
I call myself a Christian, so many of my viewpoints are coming from a Christian perspective but I am also very drawn to Shamanism, so I blend the two together. It has been very difficult because Shamanism is Paganism and shunned by Christians. Yet, I continuously find myself drawn back to Shamanism time and time again. I am working on creating a harmony between the two, thus a harmony within my own soul. I believe that we are eternal beings (as I said before) and I believe that we either go to a place of pure bliss or a place of pure darkness. I do not believe that people can be wicked and cruel and go to a better place when they leave this earth. God does punish people…. I have always felt a connection to God and I want to live my life in a way that is pleasing to Him.
Depression can often make me feel lazy and unproductive…. I pray to God to give me strength and to keep my mind right. I have to keep my mind and thoughts in check, otherwise I can fall into a deep depression. Yet, sometimes the depression is inevitable and it comes and swamps me with or without my permission. Honestly, God is the reason I am here and that I did not commit suicide years ago. Jesus Christ taught me what love is…. Love for myself, love for others and the love that God has for me and all of humanity. He has taught me the greatness within me comes from HIM and to humble myself in that greatness. It’s easy to get a big head if I am not careful! Lol! :) I mean…. I am just a mere human being and all the glory really goes to G O D.
Hmmmmm, so what is my point here? I suppose my main point comes to this….. God made us in His image, so we ARE beautiful because of HIM. God loves us with all of our imperfections and He has a plan for each and every one of us. He gives us all spiritual gifts if we let Him in. If we allow Jesus into our hearts and live for Him. It’s not a cake walk either. Being a Christian is a path of selflessness and obedience to our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. I have trouble with the obedience part, Lord help me. :) I do want to do what is right and what is good.
I think many of us are trying to do the best we can in this life. We all have different religions, spiritual paths, or no spiritual or religious path at all. In my opinion… You don’t really know what is on the other side until you get there. We are just guessing as to what the right path is. As a Christian, I do not know what is on the other side (the afterlife) because I have never been there. I believe in God’s word (The Holy Bible) and believe in a Heaven and a Hell but…… I will not know what’s in the spirit world until I cross over. No one really knows, unless maybe they have had an NDE.
Look, I went off on yet another tangent. Oops! :-p So, back to my point, we are all beautiful in our imperfections. People with mental illness are beautiful in God’s eyes, through Him and He loves us. He loves everyone…. I try to remind myself of this. With God’s love, I can make it in this world. All that I ultimately need is God and that is it. Period.
I became a life coach because I want people to see how beautiful they are, their potential and the greatness that God has instilled within them. I want to help people unearth their soul’s truest and highest essence and do what they were meant to do on this earth. Through God’s help and helping myself to heal, I can in turn, help YOU. I am a work in progress….. I share openly with you and am authentic with you. I am vulnerable to help you to heal and myself as well. I am here to show you that the things you feel are ugly sin and purely detestable within yourself, can be transformed into a beautiful golden ray of sunshine, if you let God in to work His miracles in your heart. :) This is why I made my life coaching business Christ centered (heart centered) because He is truly the only way to heal. He is love and light. God IS L O V E and He can heal you. I am just an open vessel for The Holy Spirit. That is all.
I am here to serve YOU. I look forward to the day when I will be able to coach a client. I pray to the Lord that this day will come, whenever that is. Well folks, I am signing off for the night. Take care and may God bless you.
Love,
Chrystyana

G R E A T N E S S

First off, I want to wish you all a very Happy New Year! :D I really have no idea who checks out this blog but I certainly hope that I have some regulars that read my blog! I don’t know if I mentioned this before but I actually got some feedback from a friend that I should make my posts more neutral and not so emotionally charged. I thought about that for a long time and came to the conclusion that some people will appreciate and even like my openness and some will not really care for it. Sure, if I was more “professional” I would prob have some clients by now (for life coaching) but I refuse to sacrifice my authenticity for the sake of conforming to the standards of America’s small business owners.
I am constantly refining myself though but I try to not give up my own unique and authentic nature during that process of refinement. I made a post recently, on my Facebook business page about just being yourself. I think that some of us are weirder, like myself and even socially awkward (me again) lol :) but have come to the realization that this is what makes me special! Yes, I said it! SPECIAL! Some people frown upon it when I say that I am special but I am and I recognize my own beauty and awesomeness! There’s nothing wrong with that kind of confidence, just as long as you don’t get conceited! :)
I mean, I do get insecure…. I often worry that I will look like a moron cuz I am not the best writer and I seriously need someone to proofread my blogs and online posts but I just do it anyways cuz I enjoy sharing with my audience! Plus, there is so much power and beauty in our imperfections! When we can finally embrace our flaws and see them as beautiful, we have achieved a higher level of greatness within ourselves! Why not feel that you are great? Why not feel that you are special? Why? You have every right to feel special, great, wonderful, fantastic, etc…. There is nothing wrong with it!
I am writing this because I want everyone to bypass the mean people that tell you negative things about yourself. Yes, it can hurt really bad when people say things just to cut you down, or maybe not even to cut you down but just because they are not thinking too much about how it makes YOU feel. I dealt with this on too many occasions and a lot of it surrounded my mental health. I think I was misunderstood and sometimes people understood but they shunned me and condemned me. Yes…. It hurts really, really bad but as time went by, those chains broke one by one. It’s like…. As each year goes by, another link in the chain breaks and I’m freer and freer. A dear friend of mine would repeat this phrase to me often, “What people think of me is none of my business.” That really stuck in my head!
I mean… Really? What business is it of mine to know what people think and feel about me, when it’s something that is negative and does not lift me up? Yup! It is none of my business! People think that their reality has become my own but it has NOT become my own! Too many people think I’m a monster but I know that this is not true. I have made mistakes and done awful things in my past but all that makes me is HUMAN. Every single human being on this planet has the capability for great evil and great good in this world. Which one do you choose?
I choose good because evil and darkness only makes you a very miserable person. So does revenge and saying hurtful, awful things to people, which I have done. I don’t want to do that to people. When I hurt them, I ALWAYS end up hurting myself at the same time! It’s not worth it…. As I grow and mature, I refine myself to bring out the BEST me that there is. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for years, so it can be hard to see the real me shine but I still do, regardless! I can accept myself and see the greatness in me because God sees that in me. I can forgive myself because God forgives me. I don’t think this life would be worth living if it were not for God and His love, forgiveness and grace.
We are all made in God’s image. Now, when I say that you can be confident and see how amazing you really are, that does not mean that I am encouraging arrogance, a conceited nature and boasting. I feel that you can see that inner greatness without roaring like a lion. If you are confident, you will not need to constantly tell people how incredible you are! Lol :)
For those of us that are Christians, we need to practice a humble attitude. This reminds me of Moses, actually. He was humble, yet he believed in his greatness because God did. What Moses did was to glorify God, yes…. but Moses had to build up his confidence to do this work on the Lord’s behalf. The great thing about Christianity is that we try to give the glory to God and not hoard it for ourselves! :) In this “all about me” world, it can be difficult to remember that! I think we can ALL learn from the beautiful teachings of Christ. You don’t have to be a Christian to benefit and grow from what He taught us.
I always loved Christ’s compassionate and empathetic nature. I try to emulate Him and when I fail, I just try again. This brings me to another point. We can all be compassionate, empathetic and kind while having boundaries at the same time. Being Christ like does not equal-doormat. It does not equal, helping people when you can’t help yourself and giving until you are depleted of your own energy. You have to reserve some of that love for yourself too. Give yourself permission to be human ad to mess up. No one is perfect. Remember that God made you unique and there will never be another person that is exactly like you. God gives us all spiritual gifts/a gift. God will lead you to discovering that gift. It’s like having a divine spark within your soul. People can see God working through you. They might even really like you and not realize that this is God working in you and through you. It’s really a beautiful thing! :)
I pray that God will bless you and that He will use me as an open vessel to share good things  with you and the gospel. I want to allow God to work though me, teaching what true love, compassion and empathy is and to share that with you! I am a work in progress! Blessings and have a Happy New Year filled with love and sweetness!
Love,
Chrystyana