Psalm 91:4 New International Version (NIV)

4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

 

*Image found on Google Images*

 

I realize that Christmas has already came and went for the year but there will always be another one and the holidays will come around time and time again. For future reference, I wanted to touch base on the topic of grief (grieving during the holidays). This can apply to anytime of year too. I will be recording my first podcast on Blog Talk radio once a private room opens up at the library, so I can record the show! It will be on the same topic. I am excited to begin connecting with more of an audience. :)

The question is, how do we cope with grief? How do we navigate in the storm? Where do we focus our energy? Is it ok to be sad and grieve? I have found that the answer will change from person to person. As far as healthy grieving goes, for me personally, I have found that prayer helps me to cope. When I pray and lean on God for support, He helps me to navigate through the storm. You can always refer to your Bible for some comforting scriptures. Here is one: 2 Corinthians 1:3-4  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” God comforts us and He always will. All it takes is one simple prayer and He is there, by your side.

So, are you asking what I did during my most difficult times? I hope you are! In my darkest hours, when I was grieving the most, LOVE saved me. I believe that God IS love. During the storm, there were times that I would get lost but I always heard that voice (Holy Spirit) telling me to hang in there and to NOT give up because there is so much more life to live and wonderful things to experience. Plus, my belief that suicide is a sin and possibly even one that can lead to eternal damnation kept me from taking my own life. I know that many people believe that suicides go to Heaven but I don't really believe that. I am sorry if this offends anyone. As I was saying, prayer helped and so did focusing on HOPE and good things yet to come.

I would focus on things that I was grateful for in the PRESENT and in the PAST as well. The main thing that I was grateful for in my life and still am grateful for are my loved ones. I do not have a big family and hardly have any friends but focusing on the beautiful relationships that I had and have kept me going and STILL keeps me going today. Another thing I did, which can be seen as a lack of social etiquette :-p, was that I got ANGRY. I got REALLY freaking angry and I showed it! I gave myself permission to be angry, to express it, to wallow in sorrow and to cry from the depths of my soul. There are far too many people in America that do not want to give themselves permission to grieve until it has run it's course. I, on the other hand, let my emotions run the gamut and it was a terrible, exhausting, liberating and eye opening experience.

After the negative emotions and intense pain worked through my system, I would  begin to ACCEPT the situation. I would look at it all from a neutral standpoint and understand why it happened (like my son Taylor's recent death). I understand that Taylor had to go to God because keeping him here would have been selfish on my end. I had to set myself aside, and live from a heart centered place of love, empathy and compassion. Sometimes I revert back to the poor me attitude and blame God for my son and his birth defects. Most people that are grieving bounce around a lot in the grieving process, which I will get to shortly.

This experience with my son's passing has been something like a beautiful nightmare. It was tragic and saddens me deeply. I miss my baby boy very much.... but from tragedy there came a new life born within my soul. It's like the great and majestic phoenix. Out of ashes came a deeper understanding of love, compassion, empathy and what it truly means to be selfless, putting someone else first, before my own needs. Funny, it just dawned on me literally a few seconds ago that God granted my request. I have been praying and asking Him to help me to understand compassion and selflessness from His perspective. Jesus Christ was a perfect example in what it means to be selfless. I had the blessing of being able to experience that love for my son, which must have been love in it's purest form, here on Earth.

God works in mysterious ways and sometimes we do not fully understand WHY our loved one had to pass away but when we TRUST God, all of that can be set aside. That leads me to what I feel is the most important step in grieving. TRUSTING in the Lord will save you from the soul wrenching pain that grief can bring. It will prob never be easy to grieve but trusting in Him will greatly reduce the blows that you will face (emotionally of course). In knowing that my son was in complete bliss and peace in Heaven, it gave me great comfort and made grieving bearable. In the past, grief felt unbearable because I did not trust that God would provide me with everything that I needed.

I remember grasping at people and they would slip through my fingers like a handful of water. Before I knew it, they were gone or too preoccupied with someone or something else to focus on me. I learned over a long period of time that people will never fill the void and neither will food, sex, or anything else of this world. Only God can fill that void.

There are many people who think they don't need faith to grieve and heal. I strongly believe that you have to have faith in God or you will never stop trying to fill that void. Trying to fill that gaping hole in your heart with worldly things will only lead to an ongoing, repetitious cycle or sorrow and despair. Trust me, I know from my own experience. I kept going to a man to fix me and he never could. I did not trust that God would bring me a man that was actually available. I will admit that I was having an affair with a married man for too many years. It all went back to my core belief that no one would ever be fully present in my life and truly be there for me.

It was not until recently that I came to the conclusion that this man that I had been seeing for so long, only made that vicious cycle of despair continue to go round and round. I was not able to break free of this stronghold of sin until I accepted and trusted that God would bring me the right man. A man that would marry me, cherish me, be a good dad and make his family the center of his world, as God intended. I have separated myself from the guy I was having an affair with and am STILL working on maintaining those boundaries.

If we are to move on in our lives, we must have BOUNDARIES and we must have a healthy time and place to grieve. After all, we have to work and live, right? Right! I have always found that going to either a river or lake had a tremendous healing effect on my soul and greatly lessened my grief and sorrow. It still does today! When I can't sit outdoors, in the winter, I take a hot bath with lavender oil or a hot shower, pray and meditate on whatever gives me hope. I will also think back to scripture and any words of comfort that come to mind, I hold onto. One Psalm that has always given me comfort in my hardest time is Psalm 91. Here is my fav part and for the rest, you can click on the link.

Psalm 91:4 New International Version (NIV)

⁴ He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+91 There are variations in the way different Bible's word Psalm 91 but my favorite is when they say, "feathers" because I picture myself wrapped up in the warm embrace of an Angel's wings and feathers. It's such a comforting thought. To know that He sends his Angel's to protect me and comfort me gives me peace.

Everyone has their own unique way of grieving but there are some basic phases that most people go through and here they are: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Some people may even skip over some of these! For me, the denial was when my son was alive and I did not want to accept the gravity of how sick he was and that I would have to let him go. I went through ALL of the steps actually! I even bargained with God, asking Him to at least make my son healthy enough to walk around and live life. That if He would save him then I would be a better person and a better Christian. The depression was the hardest and most gruesome part of the grieving process and I thank God that I survived it and am STILL surviving it!

I hope that this blog post has helped you somehow. I find that by sharing my own experiences, I can help others to break through barriers in their lives and finally move forward. Moving forward and letting go does not mean that it won't hurt. It just means that we are making a conscious choice to break through the fear and to ENJOY the beauty that God gives us in this life. We learn to live with our loss and keep going, no matter what. God has a plan for each and every one of us. He has given every single person that has ever existed, a spiritual gift to share with the world. If you ask Him, He will lead you to discovering that gift. This is what I love about life coaching. I have the amazing opportunity to help people discover what that gift is. All I do is help you to see what you ALREADY know deep down inside!

Well.... Take care everyone! Stay blessed and please have a Happy New Year, full of many, many wonderful experiences!

Love,

Chrystyana





Sexuality and Religion

As you can all see, I am promoting my business as a Christian based business. To me all that means is that my services are all about living in a heart centered, loving and compassionate way, while being connect to our savior, Jesus Christ. I always say that Christ was the perfect example of how we should treat others in this world and how we should be.
Which brings me to the topic of discussion today. I have had a difficult time accepting my own sexuality, or maybe it's not exactly accepting it but.... It's hard to be bisexual in the Christian community. I can't go to a fellow brother or sister in Christ at my church because 9x outv 10, I get the same response. People tell me that the Bible says it is an abomination (to be with someone of the same sex or to even desire another woman). They tell me it is a sin and when people live this lifestyle, they go to hell when they die. Ouch.... The Bible says all of this of course, which is hard to bypass when I am reading the Bible.
So.... What to do, what to do? Sometimes I actually go with it and agree that it's an abomination and feel terrible that I like women. I often thank God that I still like men too, so I can play the straight card when I have to conform. Can I stop myself from being attracted to women and even from falling in love? I have realized that the answer is clearly NO. When I look at someone and I fall in love, not just from their looks but because of who they are, I don't exactly focus on the gender of the person but simply who they are and the beautiful qualities they possess.
I think that is love, right? For me, love is warm, tender, passionate, compassionate, empathic, and unifying. It's an absolutely wonderful thing to love another person with your body, mind and soul. Have you ever loved someone like that? I have and it's wonderful....
I have been in love with a woman and it just so happened to be with someone that could not love me because of her profession and because she simply did not feel what I felt for her. She cared for me and was clearly physically attracted to me but lust is not exactly love. It was a wonderful and extremely painful situation for me but I would not change it for the world. She taught me so many beautiful things about myself, about herself, the world, spirituality, etc... I cherish the beautiful memories of her and will forever adore and cherish the memory of her big and beautiful smile. So, the question is.... If I felt such tender love for her, was it wrong?
I can not bring myself to the conclusion that it was wrong. To love someone with your entire soul is an experience that transcends our ordinary reality and existence in this world. To experience someone else's world through empathy and compassionate is a lovely thing. To feel deeply and passionately for another is a mind blowing experience.
I will never forget that connection that I had with her. We were a good match energetically but I think it was kinda like placing two sticks of dynamite together. There was bound to be an explosion of some sort and not the good kind either! Lol :) Now she is in the past and is a memory but will forever remain in my heart and prayers. So, is it a sin to love another woman? I personally don't think so. Does that mean I will go to hell? I certainly hope not! Lol :) This is who I am and anyone that has ever experienced not being accepted in this world can prob relate to me, even if you are straight!
I will continue o my path as a Christian and will not give up on my faith in the Lord, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. This is a good path and Christianity and religion is not bad. It's just that some people can turn it into a bad thing. Christianity has taught me more love, compassion and empathy than any other spiritual/religious path in my own life. I need this because at times I can be a narcissist, which I hate to admit but admitting our faults means we are open and willing to change and grow. I always treat my clients well and with respect but my personal life is not always that peachy. So, I continue to open up my heart, learn from my mistakes, accept myself and others around me and always live from a heart centered and compassionate place. If I am to live life from that place then I have to do it for myself as well.
I am learning to accept myself, my sexuality and my own unique personality. It's because I love and respect myself that I have the capacity to love and accept others from any religion, spiritual path, any sexuality (GLBT), etc..... This is love.... Jesus would not treat someone poorly because of their sexual orientation, so why would I? It's all about the golden rule right? Treat others the way you would like to be treated. How do you want to e treated? I am guessing hat the answer is with love, compassion, empathy and respect. :)

My Website

My website will be down as I make some changes to it. Thank you for your patience. :)

*Please enjoy the pic of the majestic Snowy White Owl. Found on Google Images.

Here To Serve You

Hello everyone! It sure has been a while! I decided to take a break from mostly everything business related for a while. I wanted to give myself time to grieve over the loss of my baby boy Taylor. I am still grieving and will for a while. I wanted to let you all know that I am tweaking my business a bit. I will be updating all of my online profiles as soon as I can. I am not certain, but I am considering taking the word, "Christian" out of the title of my business name and maybe call it, "Promise Life Coaching by Chrystyana." I have it named, Promise Christian Life Coaching by Chrystyana right now. Everything is a work in progress. I have to tweak things and refine my craft as often as I can. Sometimes I have to change my approach as well and my view on the world and the people in it.

My goal is to serve YOU. Sure this is my business but I am here for YOU. I am learning about what you all need, how you think and feel, etc. While I strive to help you, I also help myself in the process by becoming less and less self involved, more compassionate and empathic. I find that selflessness can be quite a challenge in our world today but with diligence it is possible. Christ taught us to be this way. I feel that Jesus Christ is the perfect example of how we should be here on earth.

I want you all know that I welcome anyone from any religion, spiritual path, or none at all. You can be an atheist and I will still welcome you. While in a life coaching session, I will never push your or force feed religion to you. We all have free will and you choose what you will and will not accept as your truth. As always, I am eager to work with you and look forward to our sessions! It's a beautiful journey being of service to you! Thank you for checking out my blog! Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! :)

Love,
Chrystyana

Hello Folks! :)

Keep up the good work everyone! Stay in your word and don't give up. We are in times where American Christians are facing an accelerated amount of persecution in the body of Christ. Many will mock and scoff at Christians that believe that we are entering into the tribulation period. Many believe that WE are the last generation in America and that after 2016, America will no longer exist. The thought of it is terrifying and it is hard for me to share stuff that is hard to hear but I believe this is what God wants us to do. I know that it can seem depressing and "negative" but sometimes reality is not always all that pretty! Still, remain faithful and don't give up the good fight! For those of us that are saved an in the Body of Christ, (His church), we have nothing to worry about! Remain faithful to Him. :)

Today is just a short and quick blog. I will leave you with this Bible passage.

1 Kings 2:3-4

Verse Concepts

"Keep the charge of the LORD your God, to walk in His ways, to keep His statutes, His commandments, His ordinances, and His testimonies, according to what is written in the Law of Moses, that you may succeed in all that you do and wherever you turn, so that the LORD may carry out His promise which He spoke concerning me, saying, 'If your sons are careful of their way, to walk before Me in truth with all their heart and with all their soul, you shall not lack a man on the throne of Israel.
www.bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Faithfulness,-to-god

Hello everyone! Just in case you can't put a face to my name (Chrystyana), well here I am! I was just thinking about the blood moon that we just had recently. I mean.... That energy was intense! Lol! Wow! I am sure that MANY people felt it! The day after the blood moon, I was a little embarrassed for being so hyper about things and reposting things, lol! I was just so incredibly excited and so happy and anxious to spread the gospel with everyone! Do you ever feel that passion, when God pours out the Holy Spirit on his children? Do you ever feel that intense energy, where you can't even contain your excitement? Lol :) That is how I was feeling! I am still reeling over the entire experience!
 So.....? What was I going to post today? I just want to "keep in touch" with all of you. I am happy if even one person reads this blog. I am just glad to share things here. I just ordered some business cards and will be handing them out to people in person! Yikes! It's time for me to spread my wings and step away from the internet a bit, to make in person connections. Time to work on my "elevator" speech! So how does this sound? "Hello, my name is Chrystyana LaDoucer. Nice to meet you! What's your name? (person responds). Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you, so and so (insert name here). Have you ever heard of life coaching? (Person responds). I was wondering if you would be interested in a free intake session? (person says yes or no and if yes then...) Oh, I am glad to hear that you are interested in a session! In my business, Promise Christian Life Coaching, I help my clients to implement life skills that are crucial to live a healthy and balanced life, into their own lives, using the Holy Bible as a reference, in conjunction with life coaching exercises. Does this sound like something you would be interested in? (person responds and hopefully say yes!) So lets say this person says yes, then I proceed to say, "Great! Is there anything you would specifically like to know about life coaching? (person says yes, well what is it?). Me: "One example that I often tell people about is the balance wheel. I have you sit down and draw your most important areas in life, in a pie chart and then see where you are lacking and what seems well balanced. I even have you color in each pie slice because I find that the visual helps! (Person is still interested.) Do you want to know anything else about life coaching? Any other questions? (person says no but I respond....). " All of my sessions are centered in Christ, which means that we go to the Holy Bible for guidance. I offer my sessions to everyone. This is a place free of judgment and full of acceptance and understanding. I don't turn anyone away if they are interested in a session.
Don't worry folks! I plan on posting blogs that pertain more to YOU in the near future and some life coaching exercises that you can apply to your life! :) After all.... I am here to serve YOU! I look forward to all of the beautiful people that I will meet. I look forward to helping all of you and watching you blossom like beautiful roses! Join me as I share some of my own personal experiences and my own lifes journey, as I help you and guide you along yours! :) God bless you. Ttyl! :D

My New Life Coaching Business

I am excited to begin this blog specifically made for my life coaching business, "Promise Christian Life Coaching by Chrystyana." I currently have another blog titled, "Cleopatra New Life," which is my public dream blog and open journal. It is more for my own personal healing but my hope is that it will somehow help others. This blog for my business, Promise Christian Life Coaching by Chrystyana is just for my life coaching clients, future clients and whoever happens to be a part of my audience. I plan on sharing some of my own life experiences with you and letting you all know what has helped me to heal in my life. As you can see, my life coaching business is Christ centered, in His word/The Holy Bible. I aim to be an open vessel for God, helping to build you up and to be your light on your path. I often envision myself as a lantern that you hold by your side, that helps you to see in the dark, to guide you. Of course God is the REAL magnificent light here and I am more of a spark. :) The credit goes to God. I am eager to begin my business and to see you all thrive in your lives by placing our Lord and savior Jesus Christ in the center of it and all that you do.

I have seen dramatic changes in my own life through following Christ. I have recently rededicated my life to Him. I have struggles, battle the flesh, have ups and downs and even have times where I want to give up on my Christian faith; on God but I know that would not be a good thing for me. When I am not connected to Him, I feel disconnected from everything in life. It leaves an empty void in my soul and I have realized that only God can fill that void. Praise be to God! :) When I am obedient to Him and His word, I reap the rewards and it's wonderful. When I fall away, I suffer the consequences. God teaches us how we should be and how to treat others. He teaches us to be selfless and not self seeking. He teaches us love, compassion and empathy. He teaches us everything that we need to know to live wholesome, healthy, God fearing lives. The Lord has blessed me with so many wonderful things and I have to remind myself to keep sight of the blessings that He has bestowed upon me. I was blessed with a beautiful baby boy and I had the privilege of caring for him for 7 months, until his recent passing. His name is Taylor and he is my little angel in Heaven, with the Lord. :)

Through the experience of my son's birth defects and illness, I learned to lean on God again. I had him baptized shortly before his passing. I gradually came closer to the Lord and realized that raising children in His word was the best way to go because of the beautiful lessons that God teaches us and the perfect example to follow (Jesus Christ). I have started going back to church again and am trying to develop the habit of studying the Bible and attending church, as well as Bible study. Let me tell you, it is NOT easy to change my lifestyle! I think the hardest part is abstinence! Lol! :D Still, with God all things are possible! Take care everyone, 'till next time!